How to f-up the simplest recipe

Want to f-up a recipe? Simple: Add too much salt.

I managed to totally fuck up a batch of coconut sticky rice with mango yesterday, and make myself sick in the process.

I’ve made coconut sticky rice before – it is so easy and so good. But yesterday, I did it in the middle of 10 other projects. I took the first recipe Google found from The Kitchn (a great site). Which now that I’m looking for a link, I can’t find. Instead I’m finding this coconut rice pudding recipe which is way closer to the version I’ve made in the past.

Ok, had to search for Thai mango sticky rice

My coconut milk started out uniform, so I couldn’t follow the (seemingly extra-complicated) Kitchn instructions. The amount of salt seemed excessive, but my previous batches lacked the addictive saltiness of the restaurant version, I decided to throw caution to the wind.

Don’t do that.

I followed the first part of their instructions. I didn’t measure the rice since my husband was cooking a big batch, but I heated 3/4 tsp salt, the sugar and 2/3 can coconut milk and poured it over cooked rice.

I had the amount of rice I wanted and still had some coconut milk left in the saucepan, so I thought, what the hell, instead of using the (nonexistent) coconut cream from the coconut milk, I’d just add some more sugar to make the sweet coconut sauce you serve over the top.

Oh, and more salt. I wasn’t thinking. The recipe divides 1 tsp. of salt between two coconut milk preparations. I instead multiplied it. Don’t do that.

The rice itself was ok. On the salty side, but edible. I’d recommend using about 1/2 as much salt as the Kitchn recipe lists. But then I poured a bunch of the extra-salty-sweet stuff on top and chowed down. It was gross. I should have stopped eating. But I was hungry and in a hurry and mad that the perfectly ripe mango that inspired making the rice in the first place was actually not ripe at ALL. So I choked down my salty rice and suffered the consequences.

Hey, all you people with acid reflux – do yourself a fucking favor and cut back on salt, ok? The TV wants you to believe feel ill is just a mysterious thing you’ll never understand, but fortunately there’s a pill for that ill. It’s a lie. Listen to your body! good-mango

 

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